When survival is the only option

By Usitha Sivapragasam

On 27 April 2015

I am a dreamer. Most of the time, my dreams help to orient myself towards something and turn my dreams into reality. And my general perception is that dreaming gives a person the motivation to make the impossible happen. For these reasons, I believe everyone can dream. However, my point of view towards dreaming and imagination were shaken by some recent experiences.

I had travelled to two conflict-affected villages, one in the North and the other in the East. In the latter, I was talking to some youth and, hoping for a boisterous discussion, I asked about their future aspirations. To my surprise, they barely responded to the question. So, to keep them talking, I asked whether they have access to and watch TV. Yes, they watch news, drama and movies. Also, they have access to social media, like Facebook. Again I asked, so does watching TV and being on Facebook make you want to become something or do something for your future? Some said they want to get job training, in carpentry, plumbing, electrical repairs and driving, the kind of jobs generally practiced by the village youth.

When I tried to divert the conversation towards their aspiration for education, some said that although they had wanted to study when they were younger, the war and security issues had disrupted their education. Further, they now preferred employment to studying; for example, working in a nearby brick kiln to earn some money. That was the response from the boys.

As for the girls, they said once you get married, you do not think about doing anything else, but taking care of family. So the single girls aimed to get married and “settle down.” One girl told me she considered studying, but was afraid and embarrassed to study with girls who are younger than her. I am sure, if I had stayed there and talked more, I would have gotten to know more about their aspirations and dreams for life. There is nothing wrong about the aspirations they expressed to me. However, it made me reflect a lot on how our dreams, imagination and aspirations are shaped by what we experience.

This was reinforced by my second experience in a village in the north, which had also gone through the war and is continuously affected by natural disasters, mainly floods and drought. This time, I had a different question for the people to whom I spoke. I asked them about their precautions for future floods or droughts. I received almost the same reply from everyone: “Nobody can do anything against nature and, if god wants to keep us alive, he will do so.” This was not a surprising response, given that the villagers had been displaced numerous times due to the war natural disasters. And I had heard similar ideas in villages which had gone through similar experiences as this one.

What I have learned from these two experiences is that dreams and imaginations are not limitless; in fact, they are shaped, constrained, by what we go through in life. And, when you are confronted by difficulties all the time, like war and or constant natural disasters, you adapt to that life and your imagination is bound to that situation. The only thing you aspire for is just to survive.

Being a researcher, my job involves talking to people who have gone through different experiences in life and trying to look at life and learn from their perspectives. Sometimes, this can be tiring, but it is one of those most valuable learning experiences ever.